Why Being Your Children's Friend Is A Rotten Idea - Menopause, Marriage and Motherhood

👩‍👧💖Have you ever wondered what your children REALLY think of your parenting style (but you’re too afraid to ask)💖👩‍👧

I had a brainwave the other week: wouldn't it be cool to ask my kids what they thought of my parenting style and how it's affected them, what did and didn't work, what they'd change, what they'll keep for when they become parents.

Then I realised what I might be opening myself up for and had a full-on meltdown: this was a thoroughly stupid idea.

But I sucked it up and got on with it, mainly because I was curious to find out what they actually did think, and while I was totally hoping that they’d say, “No, you were awesome, Mum! I wouldn’t change a thing!”, there was also this macabre desire to find out where I went wrong and how I completely ruined my kids’ lives so I could beat myself up about it.

In this episode, I speak to Kira, my 20-year old eldest daughter, who shocked me by turning up armed with a full-on list of questions as to why I did certain things and why I rarely conformed with what her peers (and their parents) felt was “acceptable” parenting.

I’ve got to say right here that I was the subject of more than one meme among her friends for several (in)famous incidents, not least of which was Kira being grounded and missing her Year 11 Formal!

Interestingly, we didn’t cover that in this chat, it’s definitely a fabulous subject for another time!

Why was I adamant that I was not a friend to the kids as they were growing up?⁠

Why don’t I consider my kids were difficult teenagers? ⁠

Why do I hate the way kids behave in American TV shows (vast generalisation here!) and why was I so vocal about that not being acceptable behaviour? ⁠

How have John & I managed to stay together for so long (30 years!) and how come we never argue? (

)

Why did I allow Kira to go to boarding school when she was 10 years old and how was that for me?

That last question led to a very interesting conversation with Kira about her experiences of boarding at such a young age.⁠

Listen NOW on iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Podbean & Stitcher!

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#menopause #middleagedwomensstuff #parenting #motherhood #karenoconnor #mmmpodcast

Apart from the episode I did last week with my second son, Ryan (you can listen to that here) , I also did a podcast a while ago talking about why I believe Boys Need Rules, but girls aren’t much different, to be honest. (you can listen to that podcast here)

And NOTE: these are all my opinions. They’re not the only ones and they’re not the truth, they’re just what worked for me.

If you want to read some books that I thought were absolutely brilliant (partly because they completely validated my own beliefs about parenting! 😜🤣) check out Celia Lashlie’s books.

Celia was a prison officer in a juvenile detention centre who went on to be a psychologist and travelled round schools in Australia and New Zealand to talk to parents about teenage boys’ need for rules.

You can check out Celia’s books under Parenting in the Wisdom Section of The Shop.